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A related problem is that the reader can’t hear your voice. When you speak out loud the rise and fall of your voice clears up a lot of potential ambiguity. Write those same words down and there’s a good chance that a previously comprehensible sentence will become confusing as hell. Unfortunately, when you read back your own words it’s tough not to ‘hear’ the emphasis you intended, so unless you’re very careful you can end up with text that reads just fine to you, while leaving other people scratching their heads. An important part of the art of writing, then, is making it completely clear what you mean using text alone. In my opinion, that’s the main trick you should be looking to pull work to turn your first draft into a polished story.To start with, take things a sentence at a time, then move on to looking at how sentences work with each other, and finally to do a paragraph-level analysis. I think the following checklist provides a good starting point for critiquing any unit of. ”His eyes go wide as she tells him what she wants, “Are you sure?”She nods, “Yeah Corey, just be careful, I’ve never had anything that big in me before.” With that she pushes Corey off of her and slides her drenched boy-short panties off her smooth white legs, kicking them off to the side. Corey’s mouth falls open as Casey spreads her legs to him, showing a man her pussy for the first time in her young life. Sparse brown hair adorns the sides of her lips, and the mound above her slit, her pink lips are open wide and moist with lubricating juices begging Corey for his attention.“Casey, do you want me to...” he trails off, nervous to say what was on his mind. Casey urges him on though, and he finally asks her, “Do you want me to go down on you?”She shakes her head and pulls Corey back on top of her, his cock now resting directly on her wet lips, “No baby, I just want you to fuck me.”They seal the deal with a kiss, and the grinding recommences, spreading the slippery liquid from Casey’s.
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